Soul cleansing

I have tried to sleep on it, to eat rubbish food to make myself feel better, and I will try today to focus on basketball in its purest essence to try to get rid of this horrible feeling I have. But I know that somehow it will come back to me and every time I recollect Wednesday, I will feel like crap.

I am a referee, that is why I hate those players who say "we lost because of [...]" and the continuation of that sentence is not "ourselves" or "our own mistakes". So I hate having the feeling that we were absolutely robbed blind. No one wanted to say it last night, neither did I, but it is just what it is. I understand now what I heard about my own performance in the corridors of the Stevie the other night - it was all meant to be. Somebody that football tackles someone on a basketball court is inadmissible. And yet here we are. The more I think about it, the worst I feel. I try to point at our mistakes, which were many, but we had a shot at winning the game if it had been just a tiny bit fairer. I think that maybe, if I write this stuff down, it will help my rage. So far it is not working, but I need to do it. I need to get it out of my system, because I had a horrible weekend in which my life was made so much more difficult by inadequate table officials, screaming liver-eating coaches, annoting players and a turtle-neck co-official. And since I can't write that stuff down, at least I can write this.

I hope my bruises will let me move around today. But I have a potential pulled thing muscle due to the football tackle, and that is only the beginning.

Aaaaaaargh! Fuck off!